Monday, January 6, 2014
January 6th
Back to work. I only got to see Jax this morning for a short time. He was going to school as I was getting ready in the morning. He was disciplined for swatting at his mom as he should have been but it upsets me to know end. I did not witness the spanking nor the time out...and he was fine. I just heard him cry. He scratched Heather's eye... it did look like it hurt. Heather had not cut his fingernails which really must have hurt in her eye. She did cut them today as well as toe nails. She and Cody picked him up from school at 5:20 and gave him dinner. He didn't want to eat really and just played with his food. Heather got him to eat a bit... but not very much. They wanted to go out on a "date", so Phil and I watched him. We gave him a bath, put his PJs on made a bottle. I rocked him to sleep. ... He was out by 8. It is 11:00 and Heather and Cody are still out having dinner and going to a movie. The monitor is broken...but I can hear Jax should he need me. So I am going to bed and hoping to sleep well. The wind is crazy wild and it is soooo cold outside. We will see what tomorrow brings.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
January 5th
Well.... Yesterday was very interesting. I know that I left out things that happened on Friday. Jax did get sick Friday night and I heard him cry around 10:50. He had thrown up all over himself and everything in his bed. I was surprised that Cody did not hear him since he had the monitor. I went in to take care of him, but when I tried I got vomit all over me and him and other things in the room. I finally went downstairs and Cody was sound asleep (the moonshine jung was next to him)... but I was able to wake him up and he did help me watch Jax while I cleaned up everything and put his bedding and toys in the washer. Heather comes home from work and takes over... we get to bed around 1:00. So much happens that I cannot write it all down.
I woke up on Jan 4th - (Sat) at 8:00. I heard Jax and Heather. She had been up with him. I took over and she said that she wanted to sleep for just a little bit. She got up at 11:00. I had been cooking and watching Jax at the same time.... which was no easy task.. but I managed. She played with Jax until his nap at 12:15. She asked to go to the barn and I said yes. The agreement was that she would be back by 2:30. At 1:30, I noticed that she was still in her room "getting ready". (bath, make-up, etc.) I questioned why she had not gone and if she thought that she could still go and get back by 2:30. That was when the rage began. Mind you... I was still cooking for the family celebration of Herb's birthday. She was so mad that she yelled at me and said "then I just won't go"... which made me feel terrible. I don't know how to stop feeling so bad about things even when I know it is not my fault. Her rage carried over to an argument with Cody because he had not contacted her and she said that she had been stuck at the house with a sick child all day and I guess she wanted him to watch Jax while she went to the barn. The sad part of the story is that she was so mad that she was sharp with Jaxson too. "Fine... you don't want to eat? Then you can just go to bed hungry". Really... is that what you say to a baby? What hurts is that Jax cries out for me. It kills my soul not to go and help him when I know that he didn't deserve that treatment... but my help would only make matters worse. I managed to escape out of the front door when Tammie came to pick me up at 4:00.
Later that night Heather drove to Reidsville somewhere to meet Cody at a friend's house. He was mad with her and would not come to the house. They ended up coming back to the house late. Luckily, Jax woke up while they were out and I rocked him very contently back to sleep.
Today, Jan 5th... Heather got up with Jax if I remember correctly. I got up at 9:00 to go to grocery store. Around 10:30, we tag teamed taking care of Jax since we both had to cook... Heather made breakfast for the three of them and I finished the cake for lunch. Heather went to the gym to fix a membership and took Cody to meet his sister. Heather called and asked us to take Jax to Susan's because she had to take Cody home in Madison about 35 minutes before we were to be at Susans. Jax was asleep but woke up just in time for us to get him ready and arrive only 15 minutes late. We had a great time at Susan's and got back home around 3:35. Heather and Cody were at the house and took Jax and played with him from then on.
Back to work tomorrow. Maybe it is best. Praying for a great week ahead.
I woke up on Jan 4th - (Sat) at 8:00. I heard Jax and Heather. She had been up with him. I took over and she said that she wanted to sleep for just a little bit. She got up at 11:00. I had been cooking and watching Jax at the same time.... which was no easy task.. but I managed. She played with Jax until his nap at 12:15. She asked to go to the barn and I said yes. The agreement was that she would be back by 2:30. At 1:30, I noticed that she was still in her room "getting ready". (bath, make-up, etc.) I questioned why she had not gone and if she thought that she could still go and get back by 2:30. That was when the rage began. Mind you... I was still cooking for the family celebration of Herb's birthday. She was so mad that she yelled at me and said "then I just won't go"... which made me feel terrible. I don't know how to stop feeling so bad about things even when I know it is not my fault. Her rage carried over to an argument with Cody because he had not contacted her and she said that she had been stuck at the house with a sick child all day and I guess she wanted him to watch Jax while she went to the barn. The sad part of the story is that she was so mad that she was sharp with Jaxson too. "Fine... you don't want to eat? Then you can just go to bed hungry". Really... is that what you say to a baby? What hurts is that Jax cries out for me. It kills my soul not to go and help him when I know that he didn't deserve that treatment... but my help would only make matters worse. I managed to escape out of the front door when Tammie came to pick me up at 4:00.
Later that night Heather drove to Reidsville somewhere to meet Cody at a friend's house. He was mad with her and would not come to the house. They ended up coming back to the house late. Luckily, Jax woke up while they were out and I rocked him very contently back to sleep.
Today, Jan 5th... Heather got up with Jax if I remember correctly. I got up at 9:00 to go to grocery store. Around 10:30, we tag teamed taking care of Jax since we both had to cook... Heather made breakfast for the three of them and I finished the cake for lunch. Heather went to the gym to fix a membership and took Cody to meet his sister. Heather called and asked us to take Jax to Susan's because she had to take Cody home in Madison about 35 minutes before we were to be at Susans. Jax was asleep but woke up just in time for us to get him ready and arrive only 15 minutes late. We had a great time at Susan's and got back home around 3:35. Heather and Cody were at the house and took Jax and played with him from then on.
Back to work tomorrow. Maybe it is best. Praying for a great week ahead.
January 3rd.
Well... I have learned a very valuable lesson. Keep my mouth shut about any previous issue that fueled an argument. Series of events today:
1. Text to Heather: 8:40 What time would you like to go to Verizon? (No Answer) 9:56: Do you want to go around 12 or 1? Answer I just woke up. What time is good for you? Answer - IDK Do you have anything going on tomorrow? Answer: I need to go by the store.....and do laundry. ME - I can go tomorrow. Can we plan to go between 10:30 and 11:00? Answer: Yes. Can you watch Jax for me tomorrow? I am not riding just brushing. I will only be at the barn for 30 min. tops. Me: Yes, when? Answer: In the afternoon when temperatures are up. Me: Want to help me cook for Sunday? Answer: Yeah, I can help. Me: Did you write a check for daycare? (Phil had asked her to). Answer: no I will today and leave it on the counter. Cody can take it. Me: Did you tell dad how much the check was for the lease (horse). Answer: It was 175. I will go by the bank and get cash for dad.
All seemed well.
Well... I have learned a very valuable lesson. Keep my mouth shut about any previous issue that fueled an argument. Series of events today:
1. Text to Heather: 8:40 What time would you like to go to Verizon? (No Answer) 9:56: Do you want to go around 12 or 1? Answer I just woke up. What time is good for you? Answer - IDK Do you have anything going on tomorrow? Answer: I need to go by the store.....and do laundry. ME - I can go tomorrow. Can we plan to go between 10:30 and 11:00? Answer: Yes. Can you watch Jax for me tomorrow? I am not riding just brushing. I will only be at the barn for 30 min. tops. Me: Yes, when? Answer: In the afternoon when temperatures are up. Me: Want to help me cook for Sunday? Answer: Yeah, I can help. Me: Did you write a check for daycare? (Phil had asked her to). Answer: no I will today and leave it on the counter. Cody can take it. Me: Did you tell dad how much the check was for the lease (horse). Answer: It was 175. I will go by the bank and get cash for dad.
All seemed well.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Jan 2nd
Jax was taken to school at 7:00 this morning. Cody went to work so I am assuming that he took him on his way. Heather left the house around 10:00. While I was in the bathroom, she came into the room and took a pair of socks out of my drawer. I sent her a message to say that I knew she was busy, but if she had the chance if might be good to check into the advantage of taking over a new contract with Verizon versus taking over the one that I set up. She said that I had to be present and that we would take care of it tomorrow. I am assuming that she is out at the barn since she just begun leasing a horse and she has to work at 3:00 until 7:00. It will be interesting to see who will pick Jax up and if they are staying at our house or going to Cody's. She has not mentioned that the daycare bill is due. I will see what she decides... to keep him where he is comfortable or will move him. So sad. So sad.
OMG... I just found out that Heather is continuing to abuse our credit card. She ordered a 55 dollar series of movies on iTunes and she has linked her account with our credit card. She and Cody are also ordering pizza on our card. She is robbing us blind!!! I am going to have heart failure!!
Well... the night will hopefully end on a good note. Cody picked up Jax from school and did not stop us from being with Jax. Heather had to work from 3 pm to 11 pm. He told us that it was not his place to keep Jax from us. I think from the discussion that Cody is trying to talk sense into Heather and getting her to think about her behavior. I can tell he does not approve of her disrespect. I am so grateful that he can see that we truly have Heather and Jax's best interest in mind in the decisions that we make. I pray that he does not give up on Heather. He is very good for her. He is a good guy and LOVE Jax! Jax loves him too.
BTW... I added up Heather's spending for the month of December that had nothing to do with Jaxson. It was mostly eating out, movies, etc and some gifts. It was well over a thousand dollars. Phil and I are determined that will not happen this month. We also told Cody that they were not to eat out or buy things on our card. Heather now has a job and should pay for her own gas and expenses. We will continue to pay for things for Jax.
OMG... I just found out that Heather is continuing to abuse our credit card. She ordered a 55 dollar series of movies on iTunes and she has linked her account with our credit card. She and Cody are also ordering pizza on our card. She is robbing us blind!!! I am going to have heart failure!!
Well... the night will hopefully end on a good note. Cody picked up Jax from school and did not stop us from being with Jax. Heather had to work from 3 pm to 11 pm. He told us that it was not his place to keep Jax from us. I think from the discussion that Cody is trying to talk sense into Heather and getting her to think about her behavior. I can tell he does not approve of her disrespect. I am so grateful that he can see that we truly have Heather and Jax's best interest in mind in the decisions that we make. I pray that he does not give up on Heather. He is very good for her. He is a good guy and LOVE Jax! Jax loves him too.
BTW... I added up Heather's spending for the month of December that had nothing to do with Jaxson. It was mostly eating out, movies, etc and some gifts. It was well over a thousand dollars. Phil and I are determined that will not happen this month. We also told Cody that they were not to eat out or buy things on our card. Heather now has a job and should pay for her own gas and expenses. We will continue to pay for things for Jax.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Out of Love not Hate
It is so hard position to be in as a mom of a mom raising a child in the same home. I can understand where I might be stepping over my boundaries at times. I do know that I have to remember that there are boundaries that must be kept no matter how badly it hurts to watch what occurs to my daughter and/or to my grandson. I am going to work on that as I know that I had to learn from my mistakes and really hated always getting advise from the older adults in my life. This blog is to help me progress monitor my efforts to be "the grandmother" and not "the mom".
I enjoy spending time with my grandson, needless to say. However, starting tonight, I am going to monitor the amount of time I spend with him so that he does not see me as a "parent" figure. Heather tells me that he is constantly calling my name because I "spoil" him. I think that it is because I spend a lot of time with him. Yes, I do let him use apps on my iPad which he begs to use. However, Heather has told me not to allow this. She would rather that he play with his toys and outside or read books. We did just that from 4:30 until 10:00 am New Year's Day when Heather and Cody came home from a night out celebrating with friends.
This afternoon, Heather and Cody spent time with Jax downstairs in our home. Jax was whinny so I went downstairs to see what the matter was. Heather was on the couch and talking on the phone. She and friends want to go skiing in Boone leaving Friday night at 11:00 and returning Sunday afternoon. She works Thursday from 3-11 and would not get to see Jax since he is in daycare from 7:00 am - 5:00 each day. I didn't mind keeping Jax for a day... but seriously not the last two days of my vacation with so much work to be done and a family gathering. I asked them to leave Sat morning which caused a catastrophic confrontation. We are not speaking and she will not allow me to be with Jax. Although, in the midst of this confrontation, a time out period, I prepared lunch for Jax and spent time with him.
She is very angry with me and called me lots of awful names... some of the worst ever. I said some hurtful things too. I shouldn't have said what I said but maybe it will cause her to think. For the record, I told her if she didn't want to be a mom to Jax just to let me know. I think that this comes from my frustration of multiple things. I have been sick since November and I am tired. Heather just got Christmas money and some money from her job. She is spending it like it is endless and like she has not responsibilities. She has a gym membership and she just leased a horse. She has been shopping for new clothes. She has not once offered to start paying her bills... and will not until I mention it again.
I swear, this blog is meant to do good. This first post, I think that I just had to get it all out. Maybe this will help me to see things more clearly in the future and to think about what I must do to help build family relationships versus tear them down. My actions must be changed to prevent name calling and threats. I have been called the "C" word, a F**king B**ch, and more than I can take. I was also threatened tonight.... that if this documentation was every found, that she would "kick my prissy ass". I cannot tell you how hurtful this is. Phil has demanded that I stay away from her... which would be easy... but I do not want to have our relationship... or the lack of to affect Jaxson. I hope that today will also cause Heather to think and reflect on her behavior so that we can change our relationship so that we can all be happier.
I enjoy spending time with my grandson, needless to say. However, starting tonight, I am going to monitor the amount of time I spend with him so that he does not see me as a "parent" figure. Heather tells me that he is constantly calling my name because I "spoil" him. I think that it is because I spend a lot of time with him. Yes, I do let him use apps on my iPad which he begs to use. However, Heather has told me not to allow this. She would rather that he play with his toys and outside or read books. We did just that from 4:30 until 10:00 am New Year's Day when Heather and Cody came home from a night out celebrating with friends.
This afternoon, Heather and Cody spent time with Jax downstairs in our home. Jax was whinny so I went downstairs to see what the matter was. Heather was on the couch and talking on the phone. She and friends want to go skiing in Boone leaving Friday night at 11:00 and returning Sunday afternoon. She works Thursday from 3-11 and would not get to see Jax since he is in daycare from 7:00 am - 5:00 each day. I didn't mind keeping Jax for a day... but seriously not the last two days of my vacation with so much work to be done and a family gathering. I asked them to leave Sat morning which caused a catastrophic confrontation. We are not speaking and she will not allow me to be with Jax. Although, in the midst of this confrontation, a time out period, I prepared lunch for Jax and spent time with him.
She is very angry with me and called me lots of awful names... some of the worst ever. I said some hurtful things too. I shouldn't have said what I said but maybe it will cause her to think. For the record, I told her if she didn't want to be a mom to Jax just to let me know. I think that this comes from my frustration of multiple things. I have been sick since November and I am tired. Heather just got Christmas money and some money from her job. She is spending it like it is endless and like she has not responsibilities. She has a gym membership and she just leased a horse. She has been shopping for new clothes. She has not once offered to start paying her bills... and will not until I mention it again.
I swear, this blog is meant to do good. This first post, I think that I just had to get it all out. Maybe this will help me to see things more clearly in the future and to think about what I must do to help build family relationships versus tear them down. My actions must be changed to prevent name calling and threats. I have been called the "C" word, a F**king B**ch, and more than I can take. I was also threatened tonight.... that if this documentation was every found, that she would "kick my prissy ass". I cannot tell you how hurtful this is. Phil has demanded that I stay away from her... which would be easy... but I do not want to have our relationship... or the lack of to affect Jaxson. I hope that today will also cause Heather to think and reflect on her behavior so that we can change our relationship so that we can all be happier.
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